An old post - December 2005

Winter calm
Originally uploaded by stuballscramble

A fine line between reflection and nostalgia. here's one a wrote a few years back (2005). Thanks to random Stu for the photo.


"there's no doubt that the winter is here, the puddles were already frozen on my cycle home from work and there's snow on the hills and it's here to stay. i guess that can mean only one thing for me; the end of another year and the roll down to christmas. and this year, a northern hemisphere christmas complete will turkey, snow, mulled wine and holly and complete also with a new family in a small village called hillsborough twenty miles from belfast on the road to dublin in the rural heart of county down. there is something about christmas in the far north, i now understand christmas lights, hot dinners and the sense of expectation not just of all the joys of the season but also of the end of the dark, the lengthening days and the promise of spring on the other side of a frozen january and february.

i also now understand the exhilaration of hill walking in the snow and ice, the function of crampons strapped to winter boots and the fact that an ice axe is not just a prop from a b-grade horror movie but a life saver if you are unfortunate enough to lose your footing. the end of the year is the end of a cycle of seasons here too, in queen's park across the road, the trees have returned to their nakedness having shed the almost unbelievable lush greenness of summer and the multicolour display of autumn.

the news is full of the horrors of the middle-east, the impending ice age as the gulf stream peters out and the local news reporting that a major housing development had to be shifted because of the faeries allegedly dwelling under a large rock in the middle of a field. it was shifted, the faeries won. and then there's elton's wedding.......

On my frozen cycle to work this morning, the winter sun clear and dazzling low on the horizon, i was halted at my crossing of the mighty clyde river by the foot bridge swinging open to allow a huge, bridge building crane to slide past atop a german barge. it was a forced pause on the rush to work, a chance to stand with my fellow walkers and cyclist breathing smoke, helpless to do anything but wait. shame it doesn't happen more often.

i have been offered a new job, working with an NHS board that deals with educational issues for staff. unsurprisingly, i'll be working with the allied health professions- a disparate group really covering podiatrists, radiographers as well as physios and dieticians. they are paying me more money and i'll get to do some more travel in the west of scotland. as to what exactly i'll be doing- i'll let you know once i get there. after a blissful 6 months that has seen my parents visit, me take up the mandolin and the small issue of a marriage proposal and all that it entails- i am back to studying next semester, back to the purgatory that is research methods. a prospect that could be sweetened if i can convince my new employer to pay my fees. watch this space.

then there's what i'm missing. this is dangerous territory during the long dark night of winter in scotland but tonight it feels ok. babies- there are babies everywhere and i'm missing seeing all of them do those great things that babies do; mainly learn how cool it all is and make parents look at each other with fluttery tummies. my nieces and nephew race from toddlers into school or kindy goers and unfortunately uncle paulie is still a voice on the phone. i miss dinner parties, kitchen's full of old friends, smells of food and the hum of conversation. i miss space and solitude, warm sand between my toes and gum trees in the hot sun. i miss drinking in my friends bars and being there when the doors are locked and the party starts."