the lambertis

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Originally uploaded by paulie-o

one of the things about getting older is that you get to show your parents things that they've never seen before.

take snow, we've had one of the best starts to the snow season in Scotland for years and we were lucky enough to be up in the highlands for the first big dump of 2008. real snow, big floaty flakes that swirl up your nose and dissolve into nothing. heavy snow that collects and crunches under your feet and makes the cars sound like they are driving on carpet. snow that re-freezes overnight and turns into crunchy crust the following morning.

all good fun.

P

four weeks on...

My name is Melanie and this is my first blog. This is quite a departure for me - I'm a pen and paper girl when it comes to recordnig my thoughts - but this is a joint Lambertini venture and is decidedly easier to transport around the world, wherever life should take us. Essentially I'm writing this to process thoughts and feelings and for us to look back on these formative weeks and months... But there will still be some reflections that will be reserved for my old-school notebook because essentially this is still a public forum. Having said that, I'm happy if anyone feels the desire to - and can be bothered to - read the outpourings of our random meandering minds to share all that's written here. If you're not a Lambertini and you're reading this, welcome.

I've hoped to get some time to write some thoughts since Grace was a few days old but haven't quite managed it for one reason or another (mainly because I've been a bit of a milk factory). So the detail and rawness of some of those early reflections is largely gone or now feels irrelevant. I've told the story of her birth so many times now that it seems unnecessary to repeat it here (and I think Paul may well have already related it in his first posting). What I really want to do is note down some reflections on the journey that is breastfeeding so that I don't lose some of the emotions and reactions that will be completely forgotten by the time / if we have another bairn and can refer back to this as a reference point.

As the one doing the feeding thing, it has been an emotional journey at times. On the whole I can say that everything, from pregnancy to birth to breastfeeding to fatigue, has been easier than I had feared. I really did thinkbreastfeeding would be physically much harder than it has been. The toughest part (physically) so far has been the first week after the milk came in - thanks to Elaine Murray for the warnings of toe-curling pain, which did on several occasions reduce me to tears (usually when combined with tiredness).

No, for me I think the emotional impact of breastfeeding has been hardest, or at least most unpredictable (being about emotions and all...). It's strange juxtaposition - to have the sexiest curviest body you've ever had, to have the boobs you'd always wanted, while also feeling like a milk machine and feeling like your main - almost sole - purpose has suddenly become to keep a person alive in a very basic, physical and time-consuming way - has een quite overwhelming at times. My first attempt at expressing left me completely discouraged and deflated (no pun intended) as I made yet another strange and unprecedented demand of my body. The time-consuming aspcet is hard to deal with too as I completely reframe what I can get done in a day adn then expect to not meet any of these adjusted expectations either! Protestant work ethic? Maybe, but I don't feel guilt about it... it's more I think that I love being busy and so tend to plan bits and pieces every day, but then am reminded again that all of this is secondary to keeping Grace well-fed. For eaxmaple, it has taken me 8 hours to finsih this blog posting...

More later

M

remembering old paths

i was lying awake in bed last night trying to remember the way to Qualko and the Hogwash, two of my favourite campsites on the River Murray in South Australia. i think i was disturbed by the fact that it has been so long since i have been to either of them, could i remember the way if i had to? i think i might try google maps and see how i go.

P

later

yep, seem to remember just fine when presented with a map with all the details. my former life is not slipping away, it's all ok. breathe.

Revisiting God

i don't really do God. i have thought a lot about God and spirituality in my time although maybe not in great depth for a few years now. circumstances in my life are such that i have had cause to think about this stuff a bit more in the last little while and i heard a great podcast that resonated with me and challenged a bit too, one of ABC Radio National's Ocham's Razor. i'll try to link to it here.

i've not worked out how to embed audio yet.

i think there will be more on this topic in 2008.

P

Prometeus - Media Revolution

now, i'm not sure what this is all about and my feelings are mixed. i oscillate between being exciting and terrified at the propect of these things coming to pass. i think that it has hugh potential to do good stuff but will likely be corporatised like everything else and end up really sucking. essentially i think its a viral ad for this media company but something about it rings true. i guess time will tell.

P

rhythm, routine and clever baby books

so after the first 3 or so weeks of letting grace do pretty much whatever she wanted (needed really) we have decided to try and get into a bit more of a predictable routine. the thinking behind this is based on a book called Babywise, which was recommended to us by one of mel's friends. the basic premise seems to be that the relationship between parents is the central one in the house and that a child brought up with this strong bond will do well (for the moment i am going to ignore the implications of this statement for families who don't fit this model.......) and that seems to make sense to us at the moment. we never want a child or children to be the most important thing in our relationship but i think that this needs conscious effort rather than assuming it will happen.

anyhow........ that's just a bit of the philosophy the trick with the baby is to try and feed her up during the day (feeding every 3 hours or so) with a bit of wake time and a bit a sleeptime before the next feed. you wake the baby if it is time for a feed and feed extra if she is hungry but basically stick to the formula. the idea being that by 6 weeks or so the wee darlin is sleeping through the night. QED.

we are 3 days into this new regimen and it does seem to be doing something. the last 2 nights she has slept for 5 hours at a stretch but we will have to see how things go in the long run. it may be a while before i will become a Babywise evangelist.

P

The new year

the lambertitnis entered the new year in sedate style, a few hours at neal and lindsay's place in glasgow's west end. first time in many a year (?ever) that i have been in a fit state to drive on new years eve, coped surprisingly well really. pleasantly surprised with the positive feedback we have been getting for managing to get out and about with a tiny baby, it's a nice thing. all power to the tiny baby really. grace has given us a fairly easy run up until this point- she sleeps, she eats (a lot) and she looks about at not much in particular and then she sleeps again. simple. so far. i feel like i have to keep adding that bit just in case (when?) it all turns to custard.

P